Stop breaking your own heart.

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Was I just an option. ...When you were my choice?

Conversations from the Car

I find myself asking the same questions over and over why do I feel the way I do.  How come I can't seem to get out of this dark place? I know the truth, I see the truth, so why do I still feel the pain. I should be relieved that it's over, or is it at least in my heart and mind. 

I have filled my time with work and my schedule with activities to keep me going but no matter what I do I can't stop thinking about the last 8 months. 

On our way home tonight I was talking with my friend she said "It's like you were told and believed you had someone who loved and cared for you, and then it was ripped away".  She said but I see you in a dark room and it appears you have everything you want and it's beautiful, your happy and then the blinds are lifted and the light shines in and what you thought was beautiful is not what it seemed.


So I keep asking "What do you do when right goes wrong?"

Quotes

Love vs. Love (Part 2)

Hello Love,

From our first encounter I knew that there was something different about you.  Initially I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but time revealed all.  You were one of the rare people who I allowed into my life.  Your entrance came through my family and that's where the pain began. 

Excerpt From A Text Message

 

Me:  Today would you pray for you, me, us.

 

You:  I always do that's why you're still here.

December 20, 2013 was our first communication. I will never forget that day.  Mainly because looking back I keep trying to figure out how someone who I had known for such a short time could have become so intertwined with me and my family that it  almost destroyed everything that I hold dear.  I can honestly say that I never understood how you could say you loved me in one breath and hate me in your actions with the next.  I gave you my Love, Forgiveness, and Trust - actually I gave you all of me - and you treated me like I was worthless.  I never had anyone make me feel that way and I pray I never will  again. 

When I think of you I try to remember our happy moments.  Unfortunately every memory reminds me of the emptiness I felt after each moment. 

Lies          Deception          Secrets

I remember saying to you, "If you stop looking at me through your lens and look at me with the lens of truth, you would realize just how unnecessary your actions were."  I looked at you through the eyes of God. You looked at me through the eyes of opportunity.  Had you just been true you would have lacked nothing.  What you desired was not in deficit to you.  You took my weakness and left me to die the way YOU feared most -  ALONE. I loved you unconditionally and you disregarded  me with the same intensity.

However, today I want you to know that I forgive you.  My prayer for you is that you find God's peace and forgiveness and begin to truly walk in your God given calling.  You have tremendous gifts inside of you that Satan wants to use against you. Fight for your calling Love.  I believe in you. 

I pray someday healing will come.

"Don't Count Me Out" live (2013) (Music Video)

Don't Count Me Out!!!

 

 

 

Pastor Marvin Winans You Just Dont Want to Know (Music Video)

BE ENCOURAGED